Life in Fife!

Before I begin, I feel I should tell you that this post more about "Life in the Dalgety Bay/Inverkeithing Area...rather than Fife as a whole."
-But that doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it now? :)

Anyway, the only place to begin is by telling you that 'Life in Fife' isn't quite as glamorous as some infamous television adverts may make it seem.
That's right. I'm referring to that godforsaken "We're for fife" bollocks.
Incase you haven't witnessed the horror before, do so at your own risk:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJiGxDnJaN8

Dreadful. Isn't it?

From personal experience, I find that life in this area is tedious and dull. I would seriously struggle to name 10 places of interest in and around the Dalgety Bay area.
In Dalgety Bay, we have a sports centre. And that's it, because let's face it, our beaches aren't exactly up to scratch. What with all the 'radiation business.'
Yes, there's also a Tesco and an Asda, but they're just shops. They hardly make a town any more fascinating.
And the thing is, I am not alone in thinking this. Apparently, Dalgety Bay is in the phenomenal list of places up for the award of worst place to live in Britain.
Why?
It seems that people are aware of our lack of community spirit. That's right. Someone spilled the beans, and now the world knows that we, as residents, don't seem to care too much about where we live.
Ah well, it's true after all.

And I would like to take this chance to thank Matthew Hansen for providing me with this information about the "crap town" award. I picked it up after listening to his Friday evening show - 'The Friday Night Lounge' on Queen Margaret Hospital Radio Station, Radio West Fife.

So, that's the plugging done for Matthew's radio show.
Good.

But as I was saying, Dalgety Bay: Not great if I'm honest.
But it seems golden once I compare to the next lot!

Inverkeithing. Sorry, I mean, "DIVIT!"
I don't even think it's necessary to go into any detail, because I can just mention the name.
Divit.
Seriously?
Naming a town after a word which also means "A hole in the ground" isn't exactly what I would call a compliment.
I just don't get it?
If they were so desperate to give their own town a nickname which stabs you in the back (Which also hear is a common past-time of Divit) then why didn't they just call it, 'Shit?'
I think it's better suited. :)

But also, there's Rosyth.
Now don't get me wrong. If you're all for experiencing life-threatening stabbings on a regular basis, and enjoy 'shooting up' behind the bins of the Co-op; Then by all means, move to Rosyth.
Please.
But I wouldn't recommend it for people who like keeping their organs intact.

All I can say about Aberdour is: There is a level of 'posh-ness' that is required for your family to live there.
When you bid for a home in Aberdour, a questionairre will most likely ask you something along the lines of;
"How often have you eaten pheasant/swan and caviar in the past 6 months?"
If your answer is below seven, I'm sorry- refused access.
I say it's best to leave them alone, bathing in their own ego.

Though, despite all of this, Fife - for whatever reason it may be (because I can't figure out why) - is still an enjoyable place to live. Even though there is nothing interesting in the near area, and that most of us will probably end up stabbed before we're 25.

It may be a shitehole; but it's home!

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Ps. If anyone has any problems with the topics discussed in this post, then please keep them to yourself.
Or you will endure my continuous laughter at your complaint while you are telling me it. :)

Au Revior